578,424 lives to change.

Throughout our visit to The Big Easy Cheetah noticed the people on the streets who were sleeping, crying, or asking for help (food, money, jobs, or shelter).  He asked, “Why does it seem that so many of these people live on the street?”  Thoughtfully, I answered, “Because many of them do live on the streets.”  I let that sentence sink in as we walked in silence, for a few blocks. 

“How does that happen?  How do you not have a place to live?” he asked.

  

I began, “There are a lot of situations that can lead to homelessness, son; it is something that effects all races, genders, and economic statuses.  That means it is something that can happen to anyone.”  I am no expert on the topic but I tried my best to cover all the situations I could imagine. I tried to cover financial loss & unemployment, drug & alcohol addiction, and mental & physical disabilities. 

I reminded him of our conversations on debt and how easy it can be for a person to get behind financially, I also explained how unemployment and lack of skills can leave a person without a way to make a living.  Then I tried to describe addiction and disabilities and how alienating they can be, how they build up walls in your life that make it difficult for you to continue fruitful relationships with the ones you love.  I attempted to clarify why some drugs are illegal, what they can do to you, why people take them and how deadly and addicting they can be.  We googled pictures of some of the drugs he had heard of and I took the opportunity to educate him on some of the synthetics that are sweeping the nation and ways to say “no” to people.  He seemed to grasp how feelings of despair and depression can lead people to a life of solitude; how inviting being on your own can be when you feel unworthy or if you're frightened you may be hurt or hurt someone else.  Then I covered medical care and how the inability to afford proper medical care can leave people in mental and physical states where they cannot be taken care of properly or cannot afford to take care of themselves, properly. 

 
By this time I was zapped, but I could see our hotel and knew we would be in a dark cool hotel room in under five minutes.  That's when I was thrown a curve-ball.  We crossed the last street there sat a disabled man wearing a hat similar to my father’s, it read “Vietnam Veteran.”  I could barely breathe.  The Boy squeezed my hand so tight.  He reached into his pocket and gave the man his dollar.  He then said, “Thank you for your service.”  Silently we walked through the hotel and boarded the elevator, still holding hands.  Once we reached our room he asked me how I thought that man ended up on the streets.  I then tried to explain war and how it can leave a solider broken, to a nine year old.

Thankfully Tarzan called and asked if we would be willing to pick him up.  Cheetah and I jumped in the car and headed out of the city.  As I piloted the car through the rain his eyes fell upon the underpass where a large number of (what he/we assumed to be) homeless people; his voice shook as he uttered, "Mom there are just too many of them.  We have to help."  He was right.  (Please check out The National Alliance to End Homelessness in America, they have viable solutions for all areas.)

We picked up Tarzan and he rounded up the final questions Cheetah had for the day and filled in anygaps in the explanations we had discussed earlier in the day.  Our tired minds and heavy hearts needed some lifting, so we headed out for frozen yogurt before bed.  I was so glad he opted to take a shower and call it a night, after binging on frozen goodies.  I turned off all the lights and sat on the floor by the bathroom listening as my sweet son drifted off to dreamland swimming in the sounds of my Bread station on Pandora.  He might not have been aware of it but I saw pieces of his innocence dying that day and it was so unsettling to see the harshness of the world through his eyes.

A journey interrupted.

I have been on a journey.  Like every other journey it proved to be enlightening, painful, and a bit disappointing.  In just over 2 years I have lost 60lbs, learned how to defend myself, and reclaimed my estranged self confidence.  Sadly my body couldn't keep up with my spirit.  So with a trick knee and a few bulging discs, I have had to hang up my gi and resign my goals of wearing a black belt.

For several months I have been mourning the loss of my four year plan.  It was so exciting to have a goal again, a reason to work hard and strive for more.  I have been lost and depressed.  However, I am determined that this will be a mere hurdle and not a set back.  With some lifestyle changes, I have been able to keep the weight off but I am still in search for the next step.

Tarzan and I have a goal for 2025, but what will 2015-2025 have in store?  For now I will work on living life and possibly cultivating my writing.  It is possible that dust and cat hair aren't the only things residing in my laptop, may be inspiration lives there too.  Checking Google will be the obvious next step, there is bound to be an app for that...

Camaraderie is the anecdote.

Some friends and I signed up to participate in a local Warrior Dash.  I was nervous that my body would be unable to meet the physical needs the race would demand and I would lie wasted in chest deep mud.  I was correct, the race did demand a lot of my jiggly body but surprisingly this sack of bones was up for a bit more than I bargained for.  There was a great deal of bargaining and begging on my part, after a mile I was more than ready to be rid of the knee deep mud.  The teetering traverse and a collection of walls nearly claimed me but through tears and cheers I pressed on. 

 

My fear of falling almost proved too much for me to bear, I was gasping for air and my eyes could only see bright white light.  I was sacred out of my wits, my body was giving up on me, and then I heard it..."you've got this Jane, only 5 more feet to go".  Sobbing I sat down and scooted my rear across the remaining 5 feet, all the time hearing "almost there, keep breathing, don't look down".

 

Obviously my fears range in their severity and intensity and during these past few weeks I have enjoyed their physical effects on my body.  After each obstacle I faced I grew giddy, I found energy I thought I had lost over a mile back.  It was invigorating.

Fears my be poison to ambition but camaraderie is the anecdote.

 

Fear #15 Walking into a break-in at my home.

 

Fear #16 Warrior Dash.

 

Fear #17 I won't lose anymore weight.

 

Fear #18:  While alone in the house, I am showering and I hear the dog barking.  In shear panic I have to access my surroundings for weapons.

 

Fear #19:  While alone in the house I begin choking on my medicine.

 

Fear #20  That Shihan will teach a class in my dojo.

 

Fear #21  I won't live up to my expectations. 

 





FEAR

Since I have started this 'Black Belt Journey' I have realized how fearful I really am.  It seems that it really is the only thing that is standing in my way.  There are days where the fear of never being able to pass the test for black belt actually prevents me from doing my best at the dojo.  I really need to get a handle on this before it thwarts me from achieving something that could mean so much for me.  Years ago my mother taught me that when a task seems insurmountable you should break it into parts, make it seem smaller.  Since fear is such a big part of my life I have decided to try to be candid about my uncertainties and take some accountability...one at a time.

Each day I will state a fear that has plagued me that day however small, scary, big, or funny.  At night as I lie in bed I'll marinate on it and see how I let that fear dictate my actions and hopefully through a microscope it won't seem all that daunting.

Fear #1: The very moment that I cross under my awning is also the very moment that the gecko can no longer hold on for dear life.

Fear #2: The feeling of something crawling on my foot in the car really is a bug that Cheetah forgot about in the car.

Fear #3: That Cheetah will never have the chance to grow up.

Fear #4: I will never reach my fitness goals.

Fear #5: I am afraid that I will be attacked and will not be able to protect myself or survive.

Fear #6: That I may pee on myself, in the dojo, due to tons of jumping-jacks.

Fear #7: That my husband secretly steps on the bathmat while wearing shoes.

black belt: a journey, not a destination

While out with my boys this weekend I was recognized.  Rereading the phrase I just wrote really makes things abundently clear for me.  The family and I have been back in Cajun Country for nealy 4 years and I finally found what was missing.  After some gentle nudging from Tarzan I stepped up and joined karate.

As we get older we tend to lean toward comfort.  We strive to find the place where we can strive, we find what we are good at and we stick with it.  It has been over a decade since I have been in a truly uncomfortable situation.  Karate has changed this; I have been attacked, hurt, embarrassed, nervous, and scared.  Now that I am 3 belts into this journey I can tell you I have also felt pride, excitment, surprise, and joy.  There may be times where I dread going to class because I know that it's going to take A LOT of hard work to get me 'black belt ready' but I think I have to do it.  I am suppossed to be a Black belt wearing Momma!

So to the lady at Academy who wanted to let me know I was impressive at Friday night's graduation...you ain't seen nothing yet!  (Oh and thanks for the boost to my ego and my motivation, lol.)

keeping away from avalanches

Let me start by saying, "I know it's been forever."  Every day I visit my favorite blogs and I admit that I am a bit disappointed when there is no new post but for some reason the thought to write on mine never crossed my mind.  Granted I don't have a ton of followers hanging on my every word but maybe not getting on the page to post my progress is why I can't seem to pass the 30lb mark. Things have been going wonderfully:  Tarzan has started karate, I tested for my yellow belt and was invited to the Black Belt Club, and Cheetah enjoyed a 2 week vacation with the family in Mississippi.

We have had a blast celebrating the 4th of July with family, enjoyed a visit from a very special family, and have spent as much time in the pool as humanly possible.

                           

                          

With all the fun we've been having Cheetah says his top 2 activities of the summer have been his birthday party at the bowling alley and watching Winchester Fletcher!

Now that the heat has us running indoors, Cheetah and I found this cool shirt idea on pintrest and new it would be perfect for this weekend.  We had all the supplies we needed: cotton t-shirts (although you could use anything), Sharpies, rubber bands, paper cups, magazine, and 91% rubbing alcohol. 

You place a magazine inside the shirt to ensure the colors don't bleed through as you go.  Pick where you want to get started, slide the paper cup inside the shirt and secure the rubberband on top.  Now that you have your blank canvas secured you can begin to draw a design, we did all different ones but found that shapes worked the best (Cheetah preferred drawing pictures of things).  Keep the design to just over the size of a quarter, add 10 drops of alcohol to the center of the design and watch the magic happen.

The possibilties are endless, it's a really fun idea and it is something the kids can do during the hottest hours of the day.

I have allowed myself a small break from the daily mile due to the 7 days of rain we have had here, and for the past 2 weeks we have enjoyed a vacation from karate.  The dojo had it's annual instructors retreat,  I have tried to stay active by doing multiple miles on the weekend, doing my PS3 intense kickboxing class a few times a week, and continuing with my free weight and ab workout 6 days a week.  I have kept to eating healthy with a weekly 'cheat day', I am suprised at myself for choosing to eat well everyday.  I have cheated a handful of time since January but I remind myself that one slip doesn't mean there has to be a rock slide.

Shihan's 21 day challenge

During last Thursday's self-defense class we received a surprise visit by our dojo's Shihan, he focused on muscle memory as an integral part in defending oneself on the streets.  He highlighted techniques that could be altered to give you more time to get away or to secure yourself a safer position.  He discussed the importance of becoming comfortable with the feeling of being kicked or punched in this classroom situation.  He revealed that in most dangerous situations people are unable to respond appropriately due to shock; if you are familiar with the feelings that come about from a physical confrontation you will be able to react and create a safer situation for yourself. 

When class ended, Sensei asked me to speak with Shihan about my 'Year of Dragon' and see if he could shed any light on why I was hitting a wall during my training.  We spoke at length about my juicing, diet improvements, exercise challenge, and my training for the C25K; he was proud that I had taken my health into my own hands but felt I was pushing too hard.  His blunt and honest advice was refreshing.  "You are too big to be running right now.  Why are you doing SO much, you are going to stress your heart out of your chest."  After learning what my end goals were and discussing the hurdles I was encountering he came up with a 21 day challenge just for me.

"You must move every day, eat only good foods...good foods do not come from places that have drive-thru windows.  I want you to drink wheatgrass everyday, walk 1 mile every day, work with your arm weights, allow yourself bad foods every once in a while, and do hard workouts (in addition to the daily mile) 3 days a week". 

I am 5 days into his 21 day challenge, Amazingly I have been able to keep the wheatgrass down.  I have more energy and I am able to rest better at night, it is hard to get up early every morning but I promised him 21 days and I refuse to not meet such an easy challenge with all I've got.  Sixteen days to go!

Time flies

How can it possibly be the last day of April?  I mean where DID those 720 hours go?  I had great plans for my blog posts; I even have the pictures to prove it but the next thing I knew it, it was today.  The month of April was chock full of wonderful for the Smith family.

We kicked off the month of showers with a family filled Easter celebration; cousins, aunts, and uncles all met up at my parents house.  We dyed eggs, hunted eggs, overloaded on perfectly decorated treats, and had SO much fun just being together.  With Easter came the conclusion of Lent and with pride (a perfectly acceptable amount of pride) I must say I was successful, I actually kept my end of the bargain and refrained from the delicious white potato.

We had yet to have family pictures taken, and through a 'seize the deal' special we found a wonderful photographer named Susan Angelle.  We had a really nice time, and have been pleased with how it all turned out...check out our photographer's homepage, she was terrific.  Next came 2 belts tests in karate, Cheetah was testing for his blue belt while I studied up for my yellow belt test.  We both worked hard on our self-discipline and practiced many hours on honing each skill, it all payed off in spades.

In honor of my '2012 year of the Dragon' challenge, I ran in my 1st 5k!  It was a success, I not only survived but I also finished in under an hour.  My final time was 49.27, I was elated.  Thanks to the perfect location of the 5k, I was also able to squeeze in some girl time for a full weekend.  It was refreshing, just what the doctor ordered.  Since then I have been able to shave off 50 seconds from my time, I am working toward my goal of 10 minute miles.

With 1 more month under my belt, I am just on the other side of 20lbs gone and still working out at least 4 days a week for 45 minutes each day.  I continue to work hard on developing a love for all things veggie, which means I am forcing veggies down by the bowl full just hoping to fall in love. 

I say potato!

After 2 full months on the 'year of the dragon' plan, I am down 15lbs and I am starting to see my arms and legs taking shape.  I am pleased to say that my heartburn is also gone, thanks to cutting out carbonated beverages completely. 

Committing myself to a year of improving my health has lead me to give up something for lent.  I haven't made a lentil sacrifice in over 10 years and I am really enjoying it.  I could only think of 2 things that would be a true sacrifice; since there was no way in the world I could give up cheese, I opted for the white potato. 

That means no mashed potatoes, no french fries, no hash browns, no baked potatoes, and no crab-boiled potatoes.  Did I mention that it's crawfish season??  It has been hard but I haven't caved yet, breakfast is proving to be difficult.  I found a recipe on pintrest for 'egg cups' and I really like them, but the recipe calls for hash browns.  I opted to use sweet potatoes, you MUST try this.

There is one thing I want to point out, don't fill the cups all the way like I did...I can still smell the eggs burning on the bottom of my oven.  Next time I make them, I think I'll swap out the ham for mushrooms.

I found another great recipe for breakfast, this one was delicious.  I loved the taste of the pumpkin, the bread wasn't very sweet but I guess that's the point in eating healthier.  I would add more cinnamon and even nutmeg.

I am continuing to try different veggie dishes and learning healthier substitutions for my dietary favorites.  I am pleased to say that I even found green beans that I love.  Who knew you could boil green beans in low-sodium, fat free chicken broth?  Oh.  My.  Gosh.  SO good!

I found a way to enjoy squash without frying it, these zucchini chips are awesome.  I nearly ate myself sick.  Oh they are good, I would even dare to say they are better than the green beans...

I think the only way that I am going to lose more than 15lbs is if I stay off of pintrest.  If I ever have the chance to build a house I will make sure that the kitchen is closed off from the rest of the house, maybe I'd spend less time in the kitchen.

In the name of healthy

When I was pregnant I vowed that my child would not have the same health problems as I do, I raised him to eat at least 2 servings of veggies (or fruit) at every meal and to ingest mainly complex carbs with his proteins.  I am proud to say that he has the healthiest diet of anyone I know...except on Tarzan's BNO.  I allow him to get McDonald's and while I don't eat food from McDonald's I allow him to have his occasional guilty pleasure.  Every time we go he gets the chicken nuggets (I have tried everything to end this unhealthy relationship but even the 'How Chicken Nuggets Are Made video can't end his unyielding love for them) and apple dippers...the kid is a huge fan of the apple.  Well tonight may have ruined his chances of ever tasting the fried goodness of his yummy chicken nuggets again.

I was appalled when I received my child's meal, alongside his glorious fried nuggets of nasty were fries and the smallest bag of apple slices I have ever seen.  I went back to the counter to inform them of the mistake and was told that McDonald's is making some changes to their menu.  The manager said, "In order to offer a healthier Happy Meal we are now offering french fries AND apples in each meal (like it was a point of pride)".  To which I responded, "How is minimizing the amount of apples and forcing french fries on my child healthy?"  Looking baffled he stuttered, "Did you see how small the order of fries is?"  Laughing I retorted, "Have you seen how small the apples are, what a joke!"



"Apple Dippers' - before menu change

 Really McDonald's??  You think this is healthier?  While I never really agreed with the whole caramel thing, this is ridiculous.  Now my child has THREE TINY pieces of apple AND french fries, I understand some kids never get the apples but is it wise to give the addicting taste of french fries to kids who don't enjoy them? 



new 'Apple Slices'

 Take a clue from Chick-Fil-A, now that is a healthy meal for kids.... 

from my heart to yours

I love holidays, I love nothing more than making an ordinary day extra special for the ones I care for.  I trolled pintrest and found some great ideas, and I came up with more ideas than I had time for...

I found this recipe for brown sugar blondies and knew instantly that Tarzan and Cheetah would love eating these for breakfast on Valentine's day.  I used my grandmother's heart-shaped pans, I made a batch for the boys and one for Cheetah's teacher.

When I asked Cheetah for some ideas he said, "Ms. Hue LOVES oatmeal".  I figured you can't go wrong with a heart healthy breakfast as a gift for teacher, so we packed up her gift and used the shirt box as the perfect gift wrap.  I'm sure it will make her smile.

I packed Cheetah a special lunch with heart-shaped carrots and sandwiches; along with a snack mix made with the perfect heart-shaped cereal and the Valentine M&Ms. 

I made sure that even the people Tarzan and I work with will have something special to enjoy on V-Day.  Tarzan will bring the brownies baked with M&Ms and I'll be bringing the blondies.

To top it all off, we made the cutest Valentine's for Cheetah's friends.  Of course this isn't Cheetah but what a cute idea!  Happy Valentine's Day...love to all.