For the sake of replication.

On a recent road trip I was catching up on podcasts, I was listening to Episode #566 of the Art of Charm Podcast; I highly recommend checking out any and all episodes. During this installment Phillip McKernan discussed the importance of identifying the Five Happiest Days of your life, an exercise to explore your passions, by identifying the clues your life is leaving you. My interests were peaked and I became inspired to complete the exercise on my own.

He had a few tips to make sure you pick the best of the best: don't select days that you may feel obligated to pick (ie: wedding days or the birth of a child); don't get stuck on finding five, if you're able to come up with three you will still be able to learn something; and the day doesn't have to be great from start to finish - maybe there was just a moment, a touch or a kiss. McKernan then suggests to arrange the days in order of their greatness.

Upon beginning, I immediately selected two of my top five days but quickly became stingy with the remaining three spots. I have spent the last couple of days trying to whittle down my top seven days to five; I am sharing them here, in the hopes that writing them will help me identify the bread crumbs along my trail and where they could lead me.

One:
June 12, 1984 - The day my parents were married. It was a gorgeously warm summer day in South Louisiana when my parents were married on a bridge in the middle of a swampy State Park; you could feel the hope for the future in the air and positivity seemed to exuded from each guest. I was finally going to have a real family and would have a father who wanted to be my Daddy. My Great Grandmother, Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins, and family friends all gathered under the shade of the trees to celebrate their union and surround them in our love.

Two:
Castaway Cay Day - In 2014 The Smith family went on a Disney Cruise with the family of one of my best friends from college. It was one of those rare days in life that was beautiful from sun up to sun down. I never really understood when I heard the phrase, "Living On Island Time," until this day. We relaxed by the water, played in the sun, and floated in the waves. No thoughts given to our daily lives, we were all living in the moment and it was amazing. This was the first time Cheetah had the chance to spend an entire day at a beach; the moment his feet hit the sand, he was home. He was smiling bigger, playing harder, and laughing louder than I had ever seen - he just came to life. When the day was drawing to a close and our party numbers began to dwindle, as everyone began heading back to the ship, Cheetah and I decided we would stay until the very last moment. We spent the last hour, together, in silence; sitting by the water, listening to the tide roll.

Three:
Junior/Senior Rivalry - This is an event that is part of the tradition of Mississippi University for Women, for over one hundred years now. It was the night that I was chosen by a sisterhood of dynamic, strong, and inspirational women to become a pledge of the BlackList Social Club; the top (most well-rounded) thirteen Juniors were selected as pledges. We pledges were brought together for the first time, that night. I was elated to be among the chosen, I knew that these stellar young women would become the sisters I was destined to call mine.

Four:
O'ma and O'pa's 50th wedding celebration - This was such a joy-filled day, there was a huge turn out of friends and people whose lives were touched by my grandparents; the outpouring of emotion was outrageous. Their relationship had such simple beginnings but over the years, the lives they built were big and involved more than just their families; they gave so much of themselves to others. The grandchildren performed a special skit that told their love story and celebrated all the change their marriage brought to the world. The entire extended family spent the weekend together, regaling vividly animated stories of our history.

Five:
October 29,2016 - A whirlwind trip to Memphis proved to be more than expected, I was coming to town to witness a dear friend marry the love of her life; the night was splendid.  The commitment and love the couple expressed for each other was beautifully enhanced by the promises and pledges given to them by their family and friends. As the reception commenced and old college friends assembled, it was as if no time had passed. Bathed in the light of The Levitt Shell, we laughed and danced the night away. I had felt disconnected from myself but that evening I realized that while I have more responsibilities than I did in 1996, I was still Jane and she is great.

Honorable mention:
Mardi Gras week 2013 - Tarzan and I took Cheetah to Disney World for the first time, it was just perfect. Sharing my favorite place with Cheetah and recounting memories of our Honeymoon with Tarzan fully cemented my connection to this magical place. Watching Cheetah's face light up time and time again allowed me to see the fantasy of the parks, through the eyes of a small child, which was something I hadn't had the chance to experience for myself.

This was a very revealing exercise, I was pleasantly surprised in the number of wonderful days it helped me commemorate. I have since spent time shuffling through photographs, deepening my connection with the gleeful days in my past. However, I am still working on the common denominators and clues that these Top Five/Six Happiest Days of my life have given me; but they are all rooted in great affection, filled with family and friends who compose my inner-most circle.















#2016TheYearOfTheJump


This year has been one of the best for growth and change, in my nearly 39 years

Gather Your Gatekeepers

I feel better than I have in months, my smile is radiating from deep within me, this past weekend was cathartic. Many of my college friends & I gathered in Memphis to celebrate the nuptials of a very dear friend. We danced and laughed the nights away, we strolled down memory lane regaling all who would listen with stories far too colorful for the light of day. Monday, as I journeyed home with sounds of Brandi Carlile, Prince, Janis Joplin & Johnny Cash wafting through the air, it all came together. I was home.

In these smiling-tear stained faces were the women I grew up with, over time we had let life steal us away from each other. We had become disconnected and unfamiliar with what we love about ourselves, because we couldn't see it reflected back to us, the way we can we are with them. Our memories are part of us and without their reminders, it is difficult to remain whole. We must tether ourselves to one another and make our time together a priority. Our hearts and souls crave it, we long for each other because in each other, we can find the pieces of ourselves.

There are those in our lives who hold sacred our trust, friendship, and memories; they are the gatekeepers of our existence. We need each other. Life is not meant to be lived alone, it is meant to be savored together. Gather up your loved ones, near and far...don't wait too long.

Camaraderie is the anecdote.

Some friends and I signed up to participate in a local Warrior Dash.  I was nervous that my body would be unable to meet the physical needs the race would demand and I would lie wasted in chest deep mud.  I was correct, the race did demand a lot of my jiggly body but surprisingly this sack of bones was up for a bit more than I bargained for.  There was a great deal of bargaining and begging on my part, after a mile I was more than ready to be rid of the knee deep mud.  The teetering traverse and a collection of walls nearly claimed me but through tears and cheers I pressed on. 

 

My fear of falling almost proved too much for me to bear, I was gasping for air and my eyes could only see bright white light.  I was sacred out of my wits, my body was giving up on me, and then I heard it..."you've got this Jane, only 5 more feet to go".  Sobbing I sat down and scooted my rear across the remaining 5 feet, all the time hearing "almost there, keep breathing, don't look down".

 

Obviously my fears range in their severity and intensity and during these past few weeks I have enjoyed their physical effects on my body.  After each obstacle I faced I grew giddy, I found energy I thought I had lost over a mile back.  It was invigorating.

Fears my be poison to ambition but camaraderie is the anecdote.

 

Fear #15 Walking into a break-in at my home.

 

Fear #16 Warrior Dash.

 

Fear #17 I won't lose anymore weight.

 

Fear #18:  While alone in the house, I am showering and I hear the dog barking.  In shear panic I have to access my surroundings for weapons.

 

Fear #19:  While alone in the house I begin choking on my medicine.

 

Fear #20  That Shihan will teach a class in my dojo.

 

Fear #21  I won't live up to my expectations. 

 





He's the one Mom warned us about.

Cheetah is constantly ‘schooling me’ in the matters of day to day life and last night was no exception. In the past few weeks he has amazed me with all the new things that he has learned how to do. For example; I have asked him how he learned to snap and why we can’t cuddle like we used to do and he responded, “Now that I am 4 Momma, things are going to be different.” I guess I should have heeded his warning.

We’ve been concentrating on likes and dislikes as well as relationships lately so I asked why it is that he likes certain girls. He explained how he doesn’t like all girls the same and that there are girls he doesn’t like at all. We got back to discussing the girls that “he loves” (his words), Sara and Alexis. I asked, “Why do you love just these girls?” He sighed and said, “Momma I love girls who laugh when I fart, smell like perfume, look like make-up, and wear dresses.” Surprised I asked, “Why dresses Son?” Matter of factly he stated, “Because when they wear dresses I can see where their legs go.” I was left speechless and scared.

Here I was trying my hardest to raise the man all us women hope for and I end up getting one just like all the others. I am hoping that when the awkward teen years come about they will help to mellow his personality a bit, cause if not he is going to be the boy all the girls are warned about.

I guess this puts a couple of frequently asked questions to rest though, “Are they all like that?” “When do they turn into to such animals?” Yes, they really are ALL like that (to some extent) and apparently when they turn 4.