I am what I would consider to be a morning person, as long as I get those 15-20 minutes alone in the bathroom when I first get up. I didn’t get that today. Maybe that’s what’s wrong with me. It makes me wonder how that lady with 19 kids still has a voice; I would HAVE to be heavily medicated. How is she not screaming at the top of her lungs for just 15 minutes of quiet in a day?
I am beginning to think that getting out of the door every morning is now my daily ‘test’ from God. I just don’t get it. How hard is it to get your shoes on and get out the door? I feel like a broken record in the morning, “eat Cheetah, eat Cheetah, Cheetah eat your breakfast, shoes son, son your shoes, shoes boy, put on your shoes.” I do believe he must be part blue jay, if there is something shiny or bright I might as well give up on getting to work early. So we’ve made it out the door now we have to walk the 50 yards to the car, I so wish there was a way to blindfold him (I bet child services would ‘frown’ upon that). I love his enthusiasm and wonder he holds for the world but not on our way to school.
Having a child has driven me insane, I actually FEEL crazy. When I get in the car I have to have the a/c on because I am sweating, the last 15 minutes before heading to work is like 1 hour of cardio at the gym. My blood pressure must be through the roof! By the time I finally make it to work I have already answered about a bazillion questions and have been told to ‘watch this’ so many times I’m afraid my head might pop off.
How do you continually respond to the same question without losing your cool? How do you explain to a pre-schooler why (for the 500th time) you cannot turn around and watch him as he makes some strange face or dance move in my backseat? It must be me, I see other mother’s passing me on the road and they are smiling and saying something sweet to their young dears in the backseat (they’ve got to be taking their kid’s Adderall). I just have one and can’t keep my cool every day. Of course as I am dropping him off I feel like a big ole pile of poo for making just ONE more question a big deal or for fussing at him because he can’t hold on to his baggie of cereal. Of course even though I have been an ass for the last 30 minutes he still would rather spend the whole day with me at work than without me at all. ‘Mommy guilt’ it should have its own text book for psych majors, heck maybe its own degree.
I love that my child is exuberant (that’s one of his best qualities actually) it just boggles my mind when I consider I am supposed to train him in keeping on task. How will he ever make it at school? No wonder so many kids are being labeled as ADD, I believe we are expecting too much from our children. I mean they ARE children, the world is all new and exciting to them; of course they are going to be distracted by a bird or a plane flying over head.
I must keep repeating to myself, “He’s just 4. He’s just 4.” Followed quickly by, “Give yourself a break, you’re only human.”