Tuesday, June 8, 2010

whoever smelt it, dealt it

Manners have become a real issue at the Smith abode; it is very difficult to teach a pre-schooler how to behave when they see you act differently inside and outside the home. For example, I NEVER burp in public, at home now that’s another story. When Cheetah burped in church and I scolded him he responded, “You do it at home all the time.” Red faced I responded, “Yes but this is not our house.” Noticeably confused, he apologized. This made me wonder what other issues were going to be biting me in the butt in the not so distant future. My occasional butt scratch, wedgie rescue, or my rare nose pick when I have a ‘whistler’???

The answer is The FART.

Cheetah has discovered flatulence, and like all boys he finds it hilarious, amazing, and did I mention hilarious? The 4 year old has even discovered how to “pin it on” someone else. So far we have been able to keep this under wraps because it has happened at home or other non-public venues, until this weekend that is. I swear to you we did not feed him beans, broccoli, or other gas inducing agents, so I was shocked as to how much napalm one rear-end could dispense. He was letting his smoke bombs off in restaurants, stores, gas stations, and church; all the while laughing and pointing at who he felt, ‘dealt it’! Those I didn’t mind so much because he was laughing and pointing so all victims knew it was him, more than likely. It was the silent ones that were getting me. He would be sitting by me at church and I would get this huge whiff of the foulest air in the world, look down at him, and he would just grin. As soon as I would look up I would see that people around us were giggling and looking our way. ..He SO knew what he was doing by not breathing a word. He had me at his will. Damn kids.


  1. i blame it on the dog.

    the neighbor's dog, across the street.

    i swear he's a venfartiquist!!!

  2. ... and wait till he finds out that i consider farting a natural phenomenon, to be graded, judged and given a value of 1-10!!! ;-)