How do parents remain people at all? I am at my wits end, maybe I just need a vacation…you know time to step back and appreciate all the craziness that is my life. I remember when Cheetah was a baby and I wished, prayed really, for him to be able to talk to me and let me know what was ailing him or what would apiece him. Oh am I sorry I did that.
I know that there are people in my family that are going to read this and think, “Bout time that girl gets a taste of what it was like having her around” but I swear I can NOT handle the constant talking. I am beginning to think that he just likes the cadence of his voice and wants to hear it over and over again. Maybe it’s soothing to him. All I know is that after like 2 hours my ears are bleeding and my sanity is hanging by a thread (I MAY be over exaggerating, but only a little). Heaven forbid if I tune out for a bit and try to regain some control or if he asks me a question that takes some thought. If he asks a question and I don’t answer fast enough he will ask it over and over again until I instinctually holler the answer. Bad Momma.
He has now decided that he wants to sing ‘like me’ in the car. Yeah, he doesn’t know the words, so it’s this loud (hilarious) humming form the backseat. When you turn around and look at him, he is SO proud of himself. He says, “Did you hear that Momma? I sing like you, a rock star.” Right, LMAO! At night he asks me to sing to him and the whole time I am trying my hardest to regain my composure. It’s very difficult to sing when you have someone repeating you in song the whole time. It sounds like a bad stereo rendition of really old camp songs.
His showmanship doesn’t stop there he has now begun his career as a Chippendale dancer. If the child is EVER asked to take off a piece of clothing he takes this as an open invitation. The clothes are off, and he IS shaking it! The entire time he’s alerting Tarzan and me to his shenanigans, “Hey, you see my new moves?!?” He’s four! I swear I have NO idea where he gets this from. The talking I get, the singing I get (I do both but with no real talent), but the naked dancing??? I’m drawing a blank. When I ask him where he learned this he gives me his blanket answer: “When I was in high school I learned this.” Really, high school?
I have heard of people that believe souls just leave one body and move to another. Maybe this is only REAL explanation to the abundance of personality that my son has been ‘blessed’ with. He does have some RARE moments of calm and sweetness that momentarily ice over the moments of shock and awe I experience. For example: He informed me why he loves God, “he makes everything just the way I like it” and one day he said,” I want to marry you Momma because you're perfect”.
Maybe it’s all a rouse to draw more people into his show. The other day I said, “Dude can you just chill for a minute, take a deep breath and calm down?” He shook his head and said, “How ‘bout you just stop fussing and watch.” Oh good God!