Greatest Hits: Volume I

I have officially contracted Spring Fever and I have decided to let nature run it’s course and try to sit back and enjoy.  Since music is an essential character in the play of my life I have been enjoying the ‘Greatest Hits: Volume I’ soundtrack.  As I am soaking up the vitamin D and ‘communing with nature’ I have been jamming to some of the best songs in the world and I felt that I needed to make this ‘Spring Fever’ an epidemic…so let me breathe on you so you can enjoy the illness.

And like all good albums, this one has more than 10 songs:

1. Brass In Pocket – The Pretenders

2. Never Gonna Happen – Lily Allen

3. Centerfold – J.Geils Band

4. Tell Me Something Good – Rufus and Chaka Khan

5. F*ck You – Cee Lo (Forget You – Clean version)

6. Walking to New Orleans – Fats Domino

7. I’m Gonna Be (500 miles) – The Proclaimers

8. Suspicious Minds – Elvis Presley

9. Always on My Mind – Willy Nelson

10. Beast of Burden – Rolling Stones

11. Meet in the Middle – Diamond Rio

12. Who’s Your Daddy – Blastman (RARE and hard to find)

13. A Sunday Kind of Love – Etta James

14. Kiss Me, I’m Sh*tfaced – Dropkick Murphy’s

15. Simple Man – Lynyrd Skynyrd

16. Cigarettes and Coffee – Otis Redding

Song 1 and 13 are the songs that describe me, songs 3, 4, 6, 8, 9, 10, 13, 15 and 16 are songs I have heard since I was a VERY young child; songs 4, 5, 12, and 14 are great feel good songs, the lyrics of song 2 and 14 make me laugh out loud; song 12 is an essential track from my college years; songs 11 and 15 have become to mean more to me as I have aged.  If you see something here you haven’t heard of, check it out on iTunes (Blastman can be found on Amazon.com), you’ll be glad you did.  What songs would be in your 'Greatest Hits; Volume I'?

Mardi Gras is better than the holiday season

2011 was another successful Mardi Gras season for the Smith family.  We all got what we wanted and expected, all though the weather certainly could have cooperated a bit more.  Cheetah had his eyes set on catching as many stuffed animals as possible, Tarzan was in search for the perfect ‘Mardi Gras ‘ frozen beverage, and I wanted to jump and scream as much as possible.  A lot of people feel that NOLA is where it all started but it was the smaller more rural towns where Mardi Gras flourished and where we all still know how to party just as rowdy as Bourbon Street without all the tourists.  This is not the place to find the whole back story of Mardi Gras (but you can find it here), this is just my account of a holiday that I have always viewed as the best part of every calendar year.

I have always loved Mardi Gras but it wasn’t until this year that I was able to actually discover what the ‘draw’ really was for me:  as a child it’s easy to understand, you get to be as loud as possible and people will throw you all kinds of awesome junk while wearing the coolest get-ups, as a late teen and young adult visions of binge drinking and irresponsibility dance in your head, and as adult I have found that aminimitiy is a rare gift.  Here is a ’religiously based’ holiday where you are supposed to give into your urges; you partake in deliciously rich foods, drink perfectly concocted beverages, try each and every kind of king cake in town (my favorite is Keller’s), and act a fool in public…all while wearing a mask.  No wonder DROVES of people make the annual journey to the ‘party capital’? 

You arrive at the parade route HOURS beforehand to ensure that you get a great spot, as close as you can get to the floats.  You make signs, wear bright colors, find the perfect mask for the year, pack an extra bag for all your loot, and make sure you remember your ‘to-go cup’.  You stand beside other parade goers waiting for the 1^st sounds of sirens to signal the start of the parade and once it begins the energy of the crowd and the members of the Crew’s just takes over.  You are jumping up and down, screaming, laughing, and juking it (dancing) along with each band that passes.  When you finally see the fire truck you start wagering the decision to rush to the end of the route to catch the parade one more time.  The experience is like no other. 

The time of year beckons the natives to give in and let it out; blow off some steam and no one has to know it’s YOU.  What a great way to kick off the reflective season of lent; tired, hung-over, and stuffed like a link of boudin.  I want to personally invite you to make the pilgrimage to Cajun Country next year, you will NOT be disappointed.  My advice would be to steer clear of NOLA and head out to some of the tamer, less touristy parts of Louisiana; be prepared for any type of weather, bring your own chair, and don’t forget your mask.

Put your hands in the air...

The move has made everything so hectic, this is the first time that we’ve moved with the boy underfoot.  It was surprisingly easy, thanks to family and friends things pretty much went off without a hitch.  We had help entertaining Cheetah, heavy lifting, unpacking, and cleaning.  For now we are presently on an unending quest for things that are taped up in boxes and we are wearing a path in the cement from the garage to the house.

Due to the stress of the move Cheetah has developed a fun new habit that has to be stopped.  The school has had to institute a ‘hand check’ rule, it seems Cheetah can’t seem to keep his hands off of the family jewels.  It’s all the time; standing in the store, riding in the car, watching tele, and eating any meal. 

It’s like he has the cure for cancer in there but just can’t seem to shake it loose.  We have tried the whole ‘do it in private’ talk, and the ‘put your hands in the air for a minute’ punishment.  Nothing seems to be working, I wonder if there is a book at the library that could point us all in the right direction.

The only saving grace during all the hooplah has been Mardi Gras.  We are able to take breaks from unpacking and penis talk to; yell our heads off for some cool loot, enjoy good food, get in some time with friends,  enjoy rides, and let’s not forget the cotton candy.

Cheetah’s school has closed for Lundi and Mardi Gras which means a 4 day weekend for me and plenty of time to catch up on laundry and harvesting empty boxes

A little of topic but very exciting…


Over a year ago I read an article the stated that a family could save over $400 a year by owning a bread machine so of course I had to add one to my ‘wish list’. This past weekend the Smith family received an AWESOME house warming gift from my fabulous Aunt.
 

We received a top of the line Cuisnieart Convection Bread machine, and as I sit here I am making my first loaf of bread.  I had no idea it would be the easy, who knew you could just throw all the ingredients in, press start, and boom…BREAD! 

If you and I were neighbors, oh how happy we'd be...

If you and I were neighbors we would more than likely spend our mornings trying to beat each other out of the neighborhood to wait in traffic and our afternoons giggling over the insane antics of our children. We would spend our weekends trying to wear our kids out and soak up as much vitamin D as possible. But after a hectic day we would meet around 8:30pm to begin our nightly brisk walk around the neighborhood while rehashing all the crazy that happened to us during the day. You would tell me about the ‘dumbass’ thing your husband said while I try not to snort out-loud. I would make you chuckle by saying, “it must be true that men are from Mars because only aliens would act like that”. After a few miles we would make our way to the kitchen and I’d pour you a glass of water and myself a glass of bourbon while we discuss the podcasts I listen to and the shows you can’t get enough of on t.v.

I’d tell you how I struggle to be a good mother and you’d nod, understanding. You’d fret over the time you are away from your kids and I’d remind you that sometimes distance equals sanity. We would both agree that ‘mommy guilt’ is the worst part of being a mother. You would tell me that your parents are well and that the in-laws are coming to town in two weeks and you’d ask if I’d make my red velvet cupcakes. You’d ask how my parents were doing, knowing that it’s been a worry of mine. I’d update you on my father’s progress and divulge how worried I am that my mother takes on too much. I would tell you that I wish they lived closer; you would quickly remind me that it’s a lot closer than Mississippi.

To lighten the mood I would quickly change the subject to my recent addictions on Netflix and we’d laugh at the validity ‘That 70’s Show’ still has in our daily lives. You’d laugh when I tell you I want to be Kitty when I grow up and Cheetah says he want to be Fez. We both sigh (secretly worrying about the teen years that lie ahead of us both) when I mention how I hope that Cheetah wants to bring his friends to our house to hangout.

I’d ask what your plans are for the weekend and you’d mention the spring cleaning you really need to get done. I’d present the idea of both of us doing your house one weekend and mine the next; we set a time, I promise to bring my iPod and you grin knowing that means we’ll spend half the time dancing to old ‘booty music’.

**I am currently moving to a new neighborhood and am presently taking applications for my new FAVORITE neighbor, looks like a sweet deal, huh?!?

Check out some more 'neighbors'...

Fuses are short and tempers are high...

When Tarzan and I agreed to move a little closer to what I call ‘home’ we decided we would just find something to rent and then as we became acclimated to the area we would look for a more permanent living arrangement.  Our 6 month lease turned into 2 ½ years in a 1,000 square foot apartment…as the walls are beginning to close in on us so is our lease.  For once we have no real ‘plan’, a friend of Tarzan’s heard of a house that was for sale by owner so we made some calls and did a quick walk through (in under 30 minutes) deciding that it seemed perfect for us.   We have put in our bid and now we wait for the ‘Loan gods’ to let us know the final answer…did I mention he have no REAL back up plan.  This is not like us, I used to be a by the seat of my pants kind of gal but since Tarzan and I got together he has roped me into his scrimp, save, and plan world and it has been very comfortable; these past 4 weeks however, have been hellish.  Our house is on edge, Cheetah keeps asking, “Where are we going?”  To which we keep answering, “To a new house somewhere”, deflecting his questions hoping to soon have a more definite answer.  We’ve told no one, afraid that it would jinx it (I knew I shouldn't say anything...damn) or maybe we would get too excited and then be disappointed.  

Maybe it’s our vagueness or the land of boxes we currently reside in but the boy has proclaimed, “I hate going to a new house.   I can’t find any of my stuff and we always have to clean and pack.”  I can relate; I am so tired of giving up my time to pack up more crap when I have no real idea where I am going. I am beginning to think that these ‘loan professionals’ are really S&M aficionados and are getting their ‘rocks off’ by watching us jump through hoops at their every whim.  We’ve answered the emails, phone calls, and countless ridiculous requests at a desperate pace; hoping to be done with it all in time to be out before our lease is up at the end of the shortest month of the year.  Every time I sit still or it’s quiet in the house I swear I can hear the tick of the clock warning me of the daunting time table that looms before us.  Stress is high and fuses are short. 

When I picked up the boy today he said, “I am not in mood for more attitude, can we just play outside tonight?”  Of course my answer was ‘Yes’ so I will  soak up some Vitamin D relax with my loves tonight until the monkey hits the sheets, then I’ll try to pack at least 2 more boxes before following his lead.  Keep our sanity in your thoughts, as soon as we hear from the   corporate offices for S&M we will sound the fog horns.

Kevin Smith - my guilty pleasure

Usually my posts tell a heart-warming story or shed light on a topic that means a lot to me but today I wanted to let you in on a personal secret of mine and clue my readers in on something that makes me ‘tick’. So the rest of this post will be me, geeking out about one of my guilty pleasures.



I have an addiction to a few SModcasts ( http://smodcast.com/ ) and even though I listen EVERY day at work I can’t seem to get enough. I was introduced to the Viewaskew universe early on in my college years through watching Kevin Smith’s movies; Chasing Amy, Clerks, Jersey Girl, and Mallrats (to name only a few). I quickly became a fan of Kevin Smith, the array of characters he created, and the team of people who he counts on for bringing his visions to life. I own his movies, have read his books, watched his Q & A’s and I listen to a wide array of SModcasts that are offered on the website.
 

As Scott Mosier puts it, “There are so many to choose from”; they have shows about hockey, Hollywood, drug rehabilitation, and relationships that stand the test of time.  All of the shows have just enough ‘geeky’ references, a huge helping of comedy, and the perfect amount of explicit topics to turn me red a few times a day.  I have four that are my favorites: SModcast (the one that started it all), Hollywood Babble-On, Jay and Silent Bob Get Old, and Plus One.  I have always been drawn to Smith’s candor, self-depreciating humor, and vast knowledge of the most obscure topics; and the shows never disappoint.  I have enjoyed getting to know Scott Mosier, Jason Mewes, and Jennifer Schwalbach as well as meeting new faces in the Smith world like the uber hilarious Ralph Garman.

So if you are prepared for laughter, can stand a FEW Star Wars references, enjoy the occasional impression, and have some kid-free time to kill, please don’t waste a second. Head on over to the SModcast website and find the show that is just right for you.


(Please keep in mind that these shows are EXPLICIT and not for everyone.)


Side bar: Smith has recently completed shooting his newest (and 1st ever) Horror flick, Red State. The movie will premiere in theaters October 19th but if that’s too long to wait, they are taking it ON THE ROAD! Go to http://coopersdell.com/ and see if the movie will be headed to your neck of the woods. So excited, can’t wait to see this one!


 

Wordless Wednesday - Pray for Egypt