Mustering up some courage.

Now that Mother’s Day has come and gone we are now preparing for Cheetah’s graduation from Preschool.  For years I have not understood what the big deal is about graduating from preschool; that is until today when I happened by Cheetah’s temple of learning. There they all stood in their royal blue gowns and mortarboards, headed to practice for this Saturday’s commencement exercise and it hit me. He’s not my sweet little baby anymore, this August he will start Kindergarten at ‘big kid’ school. He stepped out of the room to take his medicine and I had to hold back the tears. I gushed to him, “Oh Cheetah you look so adorable, I can’t believe you’re getting so big!!” He blushed and began fidgeting with his tassel and replied sheepishly, “Don’t worry Mommy I’m still just a kid.”

I have been trying to lead him in the best way that I know how; I fail a good bit and loose my temper or worse, draw a blank on how to handle the current situation. I have loved answering his questions, taking him on new adventures, and being his best friend…I am not ready to hear the ‘nothings’, ‘I don’t cares’, and ‘I hate you's’.

I still stand firm in my ‘no more kid’s’ decision but this week has me feeling so nastalgic and teary eyed; I have been told by several other mother’s that once the school years start the time will just fly by. I am having problems falling asleep; my mind is like a tennis match. My thoughts bounce from one end of the court to the other in almost no time at all.

Will I be alive to see him graduate from high school?

Will he be alive to graduate high school?

Thankfully I have a few more months before I have to do the MUCH dreaded drop off in August. He has his path out in front of him and it’s scary as hell having NO idea where it will lead and who will be along for the ride.